How to Find Prince Charming

by Tiffany Silverberg




Every girl has visions of her ideal man and the life she’ll share with him. While every one is different in its specifics, all the stories we play in our heads have a common thread: a fairy tale. We all want a story that could someday be found in a volume of tales with happy endings. However, in order for us to experience such an epic drama, we each must find Prince Charming. While I can’t tell you what physical features to look for, there are certain characteristics we princesses should seek in a man.

1. Proof of godliness
By now, most of us have heard the counsel that as Christian young women, we should marry only Christian young men. It makes sense as our relationship with Christ is the most intimate part of our spiritual lives, and certainly we want to share that. Second Corinthians 6:14 says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.”
At first glance, it’s hard to know whether or not a man is a true believer. It’s not as though he’ll have a membership card or stamp on his hand. However, we can be assured that if the Holy Spirit is residing in his heart, he’ll show evidence in his life. Galatians 5:22-23 lists clearly for us the fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control should be prominently displayed in his life.

2. Respectability
Be sure to notice how others view this guy. What kind of reputation does he have? It’s easy to become jaded by his good looks or alluring personality. However, others—such as his teachers, siblings, parents, employers—aren’t going to be so driven by their emotions and hormones. Their opinion of him will speak volumes about his character. How does he treat his family? Is he patient and kind? Does he serve others willingly and selflessly? If he’s truly a man of good character, those who know him well should have only excellent things to say about his work ethic and responsibility. They should respect him for his character.

3. Integrity
What kind of person is he beyond the exterior? While he can always put on a false front, be careful to watch how he consistently treats others and what he values most. Is he just looking for others’ approval, or does he stand up for what’s right no matter who is watching? Does he display honesty, compassion, humility?
Though now everything may seem delightful and easy, if you want to have a happily-ever-after story with him, you must know how he’ll handle the times that aren’t so happy. If under pressure or the most compromising of situations your man holds up and displays honor, you can be more certain that the pressures of marriage and possible children won’t overwhelm him.

4. Nice match
Certainly there are many guys who posses such traits, yet not all are perfect for you. Your Prince Charming must not only be godly but also a good fit for you. You should never expect that someone will change over time, so if you don’t believe you work well together, you may need to reevaluate.
Of course, you may not have all the same interests, but you should make a good team. If he likes to go out every night and you are more of a homebody, this could prove problematic eventually. Be sure to analyze your relationship. Do you complement one another? Do his strengths make up for your weaknesses? Are you a stronger force together rather than as individuals?

5. Charming
As evidenced by his name, a good Prince must be charming. However, this quality can often be misconstrued. I don’t mean that he should be able to bewitch you with witty phrases and good looks. But it’s important that you find him attractive. He should have qualities that you admire. While you don’t necessarily need to be giddy about it, there should be characteristics about his personality, even looks, that make you proud to tell others about him. You should feel honored to be associated with such a man of character.
If you have questions about whether you could “do better,” be sure to seek the counsel of godly women and remember that you aren’t perfect either. Men need women who adore and respect them even despite their flaws or quirks. If you can look up to him and feel blessed to be with such a strong, godly man, he in turn will be blessed by your admiration.

6. Encouraging
There are few aspects more important to a good relationship than friendship. The swooning and butterflies go away eventually as familiarity sets in. If the relationship has been built on good feelings and romantic moments, it soon feels weak as the daily grind of life sets in. However, if it’s built on friendship, not a hormonal high, encouragement and love continue to drive the two people together.
Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times.” A couple should be more than two people sexually attracted to one another; they should be friends, first and foremost. If your Prince Charming is also your best friend, you’ll have a companion through all of life’s blessings and trials.
As we evaluate the necessary characteristics of Prince Charming, we must always consult with our greatest friend, our Creator and Savior. He has our best interest in mind and knows perfectly who’s best suited for us. Through prayer and Bible reading, we can gain a clearer understanding of His will.
Let us not forget, as well, that as we’re evaluating these characteristics in the guys around us, they’re doing the same of us. Before we can judge others, we must look at ourselves. As we keep an eye out for Prince Charming, let us be sure we are, by God’s grace, making ourselves into the highest quality Princesses.











This article appeared in Brio magazine in October 2008. Photography by Ron Nickel. Copyright © 2008 Tiffany Silverberg. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.